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I Love You More

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Girl, There’s something I gotta tell ya, Cuz I just had a talk with this other fella who claims that he loves you as well. I said “woah man, slow your roll. She’s with me, this car is full. My love is hers and hers is mine, And I’ve been loving her just fine.”

He said, “You’re not all that you think you are, And I wasn’t asking for room in the car, I want to be her everything.”

I said, “This is my territory and you cannot take it. Any bond that you have with her, I’ll break it.”

He shook his head as if I sounded conceited, And said, “You wouldn’t do that if you only knew what she truly needed.”

I said, “Knew what she needed? I fulfill that role. I know all about her. So thanks, but I’ve got this under control.”

He said, “What do you know?”

I said, “plenty.” I said, “I know she was raised in a big family and was a woman by 20. She’s got brown hair that looks great even getting out of bed.”

He said, “I know the very number of hairs on her head.”

I said, “……you’re just sounding creepy.”

He said, “Oh, there’s more. Believe me.”

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Unfinished Fanfic

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Last year, I read a really good book entitled Graceling by Kristin Cashore and that book made it to my all time favorite fantasy novels. It was epic. I loved the realm and the characters. It was action packed and there’s romance too. However, it really bothered me that despite the intense feeling Katsa and Po had, they didn’t end up married. So, a few weeks after reading the book, I decided to write a fanfic about Katsa and Po’s relationship. I remember having so much fun writing it but I eventually lost interest and I didn’t finish it. I was cleaning my computer yesterday by deleting some old files on my documents and I saw the fanfic I wrote. I read it and I think it’s not so bad. I don’t have any plans in continuing it though. Still, I think it’s an interesting read. Check this out:

SOMEONE LIKE YOU by Novel Sanchez
A Graceling (by Kristin Cashore) fanfic

Katsa walked the path towards Po’s castle, it’s been two years, two long years since she’d seen him, and she’s excited to be with him again. Her fighting lessons for women was such a hit that she was asked by kings and lords to deliver lessons to their kingdoms too. While she was away, Po decided to postpone his plans to travel and decided to stay in Lienid to recuperate. Their decision not to get married was mutual, they are both free spirited, being attached to each others’ hip is just a hindrance to their plans. She wants to teach, he wants to travel, and so their decision was final. However, she couldn’t remove the nagging feeling that she felt when she received the letter from Lady Queen Bitterblue. It says Po will not attend the annual feast in Monsea, the feast that celebrates the Queen’s escape from King Leck. Po loved this specific ocassion since it started five years ago, and he never missed a single one, this will be the first time. She on the other hand hates any kind of social events, in fact, she missed the last 2 annual feast in Monsea due to her teaching responsibilities in other kingdoms.

Seeing the Po tree made her smile, she missed Po a lot. She decided that next time she leaves, she would try to visit him at his home as often as she can. How can you miss a person so much? She thought. She saw the castle and prepared to sprint. Po, here I come!

“She’s here Amelia, Katsa is coming.” Po said. He looked in the nearby window trying to see the woman he loved with all his heart.

“Well, we are expecting her a week ago aren’t we?” Lady Amelia said. Po, you don’t have to do this you know? I know you still love her. Amelia thought.

“I love her too much I think, I can’t… I just can’t take away her freedom, it makes her happy. I’d rather stay here and raise children with you than take her happiness. We love each other, we can be good parents, we are compatible, we can make this work.” Po answered.

If Princess Katsa kills me it would be your damn fault! Amelia joked.

Po chuckled. “Nah, she’s in control with her grace now, she would never harm you. She would know how important you are to me.”

“Look at me Po, I want you to know that whatever you decide is fine with me. If she wants to marry you, I will be happy for both of you. We do love each other, but not as strong as what you and Katsa have. I don’t want you two just throw away what you have. It’s precious and only few people finds that kind of love.”

Po looked at Amelia, he stroked her blonde hair and looked at her eyes. This is the woman I can marry, he thought. She’s a graceling like him, graced with healing and her eyes… one blue and the other is a lighter shade of violet. For the last two years she nursed him to full recovery, it was her he first saw when he got his sight back, those mesmerizing eyes with a promise of new life.

Amelia was sent to her two years ago by her Queen mother. Determined to get his sight back, she pleaded him to delay his plan to travel so that Amelia can work her grace for his recovery. Who would’ve thought that it would work? Amelia’s persistence and her natural healing ability made it possible. Despite their growing love for each other, they both admitted that their feelings can’t be more than friends but enough for companionship, and maybe enough to start a family.

“You are amazing Amelia, and I would be honored to be your husband.” Po said.

“Thank you, but I want you to be happy, really happy. I will be always your friend, you helped me enough for the past two years.” Amelia answered.

Amelia have a secret of her own, before she came to Ror’s kingdom, she was sold by her parents to a town doctor in Monsea. She was too young, she saw the horrible situation in the city that forced her to use her grace to help its people. People are often confuse and babble stuff that doesn’t make sense. Sometimes, she finds herself confused but whenever she sees sick children, wounded animals and dead bodies, she remembers the cruelty that the powerful King bestowed to his people. She concluded that King Leck is also a graceling, that behind his eye patch is a different eye color. One of her patients, a man on his late twenties named Ando, was able to fight the deception while he was recuperating. Ando remembered how the King raped and killed his wife in his presence, he remembered fighting back, thus, his injuries and was told that everything was caused by some savage criminals that escaped from the prison.

Knowing the danger that they would likely face in the future, they planned to escape the city and move to Ror’s Kingdom, where gracelings are free and the people are warm and accepting. After months of planning and preparation, they were able to escape. Ando took care of her as his own child and they opened a small clinic in Ror’s city. Her grace made her the best healer in town, which caught the Queen’s attention and sought her services privately. Prince Po’s disability was unknown to most people and she was one of the few who were asked to maintain it’s secrecy. Since she can’t say no to a royalty, she agreed to stay with the Prince until he recovers.

Despite the years of freedom from King Leck’s doing, she’s still haunted by what she’d seen, it gives her nightmares that leaves her awake and scared at night. This is where Po comes in. Whenever he’s near, she felt safe in his arms. She can only sleep soundly when he’s with her.

“And how can you manage to sleep without me?” Po blurted.

Amelia pouted. “I managed to sleep all those years before I met you.”

“Uh-huh, I remember how thin you were when you first came here, you were so tired and barely sleeping.” Po said.

“Hmmph, whatever. Once the princess arrives, I’m paying a visit to your grandfather.” To give you two some privacy and time to sort things out.

“Thank you Amelia.”

Amelia left and prepared the things she needed for her visit.

——————————————————————————–

Po stayed outside, pacing. He couldn’t help the excitement that he feels. He can feel Katsa’s excitement too, her thoughts screaming in his mind…she missed him! He sat on a dried stump, bowed his head and try to silence his mind. How can I do this without hurting you Katsa? I love you too much, and this…

“Po!”

He looked up and there she was, the love of his life, the only woman he’s willing to sacrifice his own happiness for, scratch that, the only woman he’s willing to give up everything for.

He smiled.

“It’s good to see you again Katsa.”

Katsa run towards Po and flung herself to him. I missed you! I missed you so much my dear Po. She thought over and over.

“I missed you too Katsa, I can see that you’re healthier, you’ve gained weight.” He joked.

“I came here after two years and you only noticed my weight? How dare you?” Katsa playfully punched Po.

“I was just playing with you, come here, you’re as beautiful as ever, your hair is longer now… let’s go inside.”

Katsa stopped him and examined his face. She stared at his eyes, he stared back.

“What?” Po asked.

“You are looking at me…y-you can see me…” tears threatened to blur her eyes.

“I told you Katsa, I’m very glad to see you again.” Po said with a smile.

Katsa hugged him tightly and they went inside Po’s house. It was the same as it was the first time she came, but it felt more welcoming. There were few furnitures added… I didn’t know you have a knack for beautiful furnitures. Katsa jested.

“Oh that, it was all Amelia’s doing, she loved adding new furnitures every now and then.”

Amelia?

“Did you just mentioned my name?” A blonde haired woman came out the living area holding a pack, she have graceling eyes, an amazing shade of violet and the other is blue. She’s beautiful.

“That she is.” Po said proudly.

“Huh? What is it you need my prince?” Amelia asked.

“Nuh-uh, I’m just telling Katsa here that you adorned this place yourself.”

Amelia blushed. “Oh that, I have a weakness for beautiful furnitures, and Po here doesn’t really care whatever I do on his home.”

“Amelia, this is your home–” Po was interrupted with Amelia’s thoughts.

Stop it Po, you are confusing the princess. Tell her everything once I leave Don’t skip anything, be honest and spill what your heart wants to say.

Katsa looked at Amelia, then at Po. Something occurred to her, it was like she was slapped in her face… Amelia knows Po’s grace, she is mentally communicating to him. He only does that with her, and now she shares that special communication with someone else. She frowned and cleared her throat.

“It was really nice to finally meet you Princess Katsa.” Amelia said with a smile, she looked at Po, “I have to go and visit grandfather.”

Behave and be honest Po. Amelia thought before leaving.

With a pained look, Po nodded and watch Amelia leave.

“Who is Amelia and what is she doing here? How did you get your sight back? Who helped you?” Katsa asked without blinking.

“You are always full of questions dear. Will you rest for awhile before I tell you everything? I promise I’ll leave nothing after you’ve cleaned and rested.”

“Of all people, you know I don’t need rest, quit stalling.” Katsa protested.

“Trust me Katsa, rest for now and we’ll talk later.” Po summoned his servants to fetch bath water for Katsa and instructed his chef to prepare a meal for her. He sent her to one of the guest rooms, but before he left without a word, he pulled Katsa for a kiss that left her senseless.

——————————————————————————–

Katsa woke up and realize that she slept longer than expected. It’s morning already, she missed dinner and wasn’t able to talk to Po as promised. She groaned and prepare herself for breakfast. She went straight to the dining area, she heard laughters, Po’s and Amelia’s? Why is she here this early?

“Your grandfather is doing well, he said that you have to come with me next time. The old man missed you.” Amelia said.

“Did you tell him the reason I didn’t come yesterday?”

“Yeah, I told him you’re going to jilt me on the altar.” Amelia laughed.

Katsa stopped on her track. What does that mean? She thought.

“I see you’re awake already Katsa.” Po announced.

Stop listening to my thoughts you dummy. “Yeah, you didn’t wake me last night, you promised.”

Amelia gave Po a look and he flinched.

“I’m sorry.” Po said looking at Amelia and then to Katsa. “You were sleeping soundly and I just thought that you needed it, you’ve travelled a long way.”

“Good morning Princess Katsa, please join us.” She gestured on the empty seat beside Po.

“Okay, thank you Amelia.” What is she doing here Po?

“Oh, you would love the food, Amelia is a wonderful cook, and she just made my favorite bread and omelette.” Po said.

“Of course.” Katsa grabbed a plate and picked up a piece of toasted bread and a serving of omelettes. Po, you are stalling, what is she doing here?

Po looked at Amelia and tried to caught her gaze. When she finally did, Amelia stood without finishing her meal and babbled something about visiting a pregnant woman in the village.

“Be careful Amelia, and be back before the sun sets.” Katsa caught a hint of protectiveness in his voice, what the hell is happening here?

Amelia nodded to both of them and left without a word.

——————————————————————————–

“So, are you going to answer my questions?” Katsa asked as soon as Amelia stepped out of the dining room.

“Where do you like me to start?” Po asked.

“With Amelia.”

Po ran his hand over his hair before speaking. “Well, Amelia was sent to me by Mother. If you noticed her eyes, she’s a graceling too.”

“What’s her grace?”

“She’s graced with healing. My mother sought her services privately, she’s the one responsible for the recovery of my sight.”

“T-that’s amazing. How long before you finally recovered your sight?”

“Almost a year, Amelia was very patient with me…”

“I see… how did she learn your grace?” Katsa interrupted

“I have to tell her, for medical purposes. Also, I do trust her. She will never divulge my secret.”

“Hmmm, okay.”

“Okay?” Po raised his brows.

“I mean, I think I understand why you are so close to her.” I am so thankful that you can see again, I guess I have to be nicer to Amelia.

“You haven’t heard everything yet, but you have to promise that no matter what I say you’ll remain nice to her.” Katsa’s heart began to pound wildly on her chest, determined to shake away her fear, Katsa nodded silently.

“Let’s take a walk outside, the day is too good to be wasted.” Po offerred his hand to Katsa and she accepted. They walked through Po’s house garden which is trully a delightful sight. The flowers were all in bloom, the blue sky, the sound of the waves crashing to the nearby cliffs, the smell of seawater in the air… aaargh, this place is just amazing! Katsa thought. Po simply smiled. The scenery and Po’s smile calmed Katsa, temporarily.

“Met anyone interesting while you’re away.” Po asked.

“Hmm… well, there’s this graceling I met in Sundera her eyes were yellow and brown and her grace is to perform. She’s brilliant in dancing, singing, and many other talents, she lives in the city and often summoned for entertainment during visit and special event in the Sunderan court. She joined one of my fighting lessons saying that she needs to protect herself from her insane admirers.” Katsa laughed.

“Ah, must be tough to be her.” Po chuckled.

“I know, and there was this soldier I met in Middluns whose grace is braiding,” Katsa paused to catch her breath. “He’s a six footer and well muscled guy…” they both bursted out laughing.

“Speaking of Middluns, how are Raffin and Bann? I heard Giddon got married!”

“Oh my goodness, he did! I was shocked, but Giddon was smitten with the mind reader graceling. Raffin would be inheriting the crown soon, and he’s still looking for a future queen. Well, Bann is Bann, he is doing well.”

“That’s great to know.” They were both silent for a minute, it was comfortable for awhile but as the silence grew longer Po became fidgety. How on earth I’m going to say to the woman you love that you are going to marry someone else? How can I make this easier?

Katsa moved closer to Po and ran her hands to his face, Po was too preoccupied and was startled by her action.

“I-im sorry”, Katsa withdrew her hand immediately. “Are you feeling okay Po?”

Po grabbed Katsa’s hands and brought it to his face, he kissed her palms slowly before he spoke. “I will be fine Katsa, I will be.”

“What’s bothering you? You know that you can always talk to me…” Katsa made him looked into her eyes. His eyes were full of sorrow, pain, sadness, and… defeat?

Tell me.

Po inhaled deeply and exhaled painstakingly slow.

“Do you remember what I told you two years ago before we parted?” Po asked.

“I don’t know Po, we’ve said a lot of things…” Katsa answered.

“Okay, we’ll just to refresh your memory Katsa, just before I boarded the ferry on my way back to Lienid, I said…”

The memory of that day came flashing back through her mind. It felt like it just happened yesterday than two years ago. Po in his Lienid clothing, his pack on his hand and the other hand on hers. They were walking slowly towards the dock. They both hated farewells for it always bring sadness and tears, but they couldn’t bear to waste every second of being together.

“I hate to leave you.” Po said.

“I know, I don’t like it too. I’m going to miss you everyday.” Katsa squeezed his hand lightly. Po squeezed back.

“Will you write to me whenever you can?”

“I will try, however, it may seem pointless if I wont get any from you. I will be travelling a lot, thus, I wont have a permanent address.”

Po just nodded. “I understand.”

“We will be okay.” Po you have to believe that we will be alright.

“Listen, I’m now ready to settle down. I am ready to give up travelling and stay in Lienid for good. I think I’ve seen enough.”

“W-what are you trying to say?”

“I don’t want to be away from you anymore. Come with me to Lienid, you don’t have to marry me…b-but we can stay together in my home. You don’t even have to bear my children, for I don’t have a need for an heir.” Po blurted without a pause

Katsa looked taken aback with his proposal.

“And, you can teach there too, there are plenty of women and even children in Lienid who can use help with self defense…” Po brought his hands to her face, he felt her tears pouring.

“P-po, you know I love you, and I would do anything for you, b-but…”

Po’s hands fell on his sides, he looked defeated but he just nodded sadly.

“Okay, I understand Katsa.” He kissed her, said his good bye and left.

“…I am announcing my betrothal to Amelia this weekend.” Po said.

Those are the words that snapped her back to the present. “D-did you just say you’re marrying Amelia? Or I’m just hearing things?” This can’t be true? Tell me it’s not true!

Po looked at her with his apologizing eyes and said. “I’m sorry Katsa.”

Katsa opened her mouth but she couldn’t utter a single word, she snapped her mouth shut, turned her back and run towards the house.

———————————————————————————————-

As soon as Katsa reached her room, her tears started to fall. She felt her heart shattered into tiny pieces. She lay in her bed face down, sobbing uncontrollably.

Why does it hurt so much? It’s not as if Po cheated on me… It was me who said that I’m not going to marry him and hang on to him like a barnacle, just to keep him to myself and stop him loving anyone else. I have no right to be jealous or to be hurt because I’ve let him, I allowed him to love someone else.

“I am so stupid.” Katsa managed to blurt in between her sobs. She managed to calm herself after three hours of continous crying and self pity. She stood and sat on the sitting area near the window. She heaved a sigh and tried to clear her mind.

Never in her life did Katsa mopped about something. She wasn’t the emotional type. Yet, here she is, locking herself in one of Po’s guest rooms, trying to convince herself that she can be happy for Po. But how could she? When the mere thought of Po being with some one else bring tears into her eyes?

How come I never thought of this to happen even before I rejected his proposal? My pride and arrogance brought me this, it was all my fault and there’s nothing else to do but accept this. Po isn’t mine anymore… I am a survivor, I can live alone, I’ve been doing it for awhile…

graceling

Oh, I forgot to mention that aside from the novel (Graceling) this incomplete fanfic was also inspired by Adele’s song Someone Like You. =p

A Struggling Artist’s Guide to Retail by Omar Holmon and Brian Dillon

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I can totally relate to this! Not that I hate my job, I just don’t love it… you know what I mean? Anyway, here’s my favorite part of the poem:

Chapter Ten

Realizing it’s not that bad
It’s your job man!
Enjoy the little victory,
the free AC,
the fast internet,
writing poems on the job,
then bring it out at work realizing that the trick is:
“Doing what you have to do, to do what you love to do.”
So don’t worry about the shit you pick up next.
We don’t define ourselves by who signs the checks.

 

 

Ramadan Kareem!

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Ramadan officially started yesterday! Since I’m not a Muslim, I’m exempted from fasting, however, my work is definitely affected. In case you don’t know yet, I work as a clinic nurse here in Saudi Arabia where majority of people are Muslims. So, I only work for 5 hours, 8:30PM to 1:30AM, for a month. It doesn’t sound bad right?

WRONG.

Ever since I was in nursing school, I didn’t like working night shifts because aside from altered sleeping pattern, I always end up gaining weight. I eat to keep myself awake. This habit followed me until I started working. I’m trying to stop it, but alas, bad habits are hard to break. Anyway, this is only temporary, I don’t think I will be overweight once Ramadan ends. *fingers crossed*

Speaking of overweight, not long ago, my friend and I were talking about diets and weight loss. I was overweight before I went abroad to work, but now, i’m within the normal range. On my first year here in KSA, I had a lot of time to spare, so, I started working out and counting calories. (I stopped counting calories anymore because I don’t think I need to lose more weight, my mom does not approve.) Anyway, my best friend who is in Hawaii was telling me that she needed to lose weight and I didn’t believe her because she’s very slim and she’s got a very good metabolism when we were in college. So, as a proof, she sent us (me and another friend) her recent photo and I still didn’t believe her because it looked like she was pregnant. LOL, I even ordered her to take a pregnancy test! I was in full nurse mode, I asked her LMP (last menstrual periond), etc… Long story short, she’s not pregnant, it was just fat.

So, what’s my point here?

Nothing.

However, I recently watched a really good spoken word poetry performance about self body image by Megan Falley and I just loved it. I watched it a lot of times already, and it still makes me laugh. There was a line that totally reminds me of my friend. Check this out: Fat Girl by Megan Falley

Fat girl, fat jokes
fat girl, skinny friends
fat girl, stand next to fatter people to look thin

fat girl, fat camp–five years
fat girl lost 2 pounds and you didn’t notice

fat girl love your garlic breath
fat girl vegan
fat girl but red velvet cupcakes taste so delicious!

fat girl, pretty face
fat girl, dean’s list
fat girl wants fries with that

fat girl don’t touch her stomach
fat girl turn the lights off
fat girl keep her t-shirt on

fat girl not pregnant
fat girl food baby
fat girl named her dog taco

fat girl bad bulimic
fat girl binge and no purge
fat girl can’t even throw up right

fat girl unbutton her pants at dinner
fat girl heard nothing taste as good as being thin feels
fat girl certain spicy crunchy tuna rolls taste better than being thin feels

fat girl threw out her scale
fat girl you are what you eat
fat girl double stuff oreos

fat girl got her fathers jeans
fat girl’s brother didn’t
fat girl’s friends come over and stare at her brother’s chiseled abdominals and ignore–

fat girl don’t hate her body
fat girl hate the world

fat girl fat mouth
fat girl fatter fist
fat girl fuck you

fat girl heart so fat it needs its own zipcode
fat girl heart so fat it uses the equator as its belt

fat girl seafood diet
fat girl see food
fat girl eat it

fat girl heard all the jokes
fat girl finish the punch line before you

fat girl cry in private
fat girl thick skin
fat girl dance anyway
fat girl shirt off
fat girl lights on

fat girl LIGHTS ON!

Book Review: Out of Breath (The Breathing Series #3) by Rebecca Donovan

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out of breath

 

2.5 – 3/5 Stars

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

I’ve been waiting for this book to come out since last year. I loved the first two books in this series even though the second book ended with Emma leaving Evan. I wasn’t able to read Out of Breath as soon as it came out because I joined a reading challenge and I actually have to follow a reading list. So, when I finally got around reading it, there are a lot of reviews in GR already and being a natural curious, I read them. Unfortunately, the reviews are not what I was expecting. A lot were disappointed, and even though it pains me to say this: I agree with them.

The book is written in 2 POV’s- Emma and Evan’s, but majority of the chapters were written in Emma’s POV (Chapters 1-14 are all written in Emma’s POV). Okay, here it goes: It was bad. Not the writing style, but the story. It was painful to see Emma like that. She’s self-destructive. I think I liked the Emma before despite the abuse and battery she experienced because I can offer sympathy to those kind of characters. It wasn’t their choice to be in that situation in the first place. However,in this book, Emma was almost always drunk, she makes out with guys she doesn’t know, and does other impulsive stuff. She’s really in a bad place and I can’t stomach what she’s doing to herself. And then she met Cole. I didn’t like Cole, but I didn’t hate him either. He seems like a nice guy, but I like Evan too much that I couldn’t make myself to like him. He was patient with Emma, and he somehow helps her forget her issues. They slept together, a LOT, but get this, THEY ARE NOT DATING. I pretty much skimmed ALL the parts whenever Emma uses Cole as her distraction or as her anesthetic, and by that, I meant them having sex. I’m just so mad at Emma at this point, I almost gave up reading the book and then FINALLY Evan showed up on Emma’s mom’s funeral.

Honestly, Evan is the only reason why I continued reading this book. I was very curious about what happened to him after Emma left. It wasn’t revealed in an instant but there were hints that he was really messed up when Emma left. (grrr Emma!) I didn’t like his decision to spend the summer in California because it’s obvious that he’s not over Emma. Plus, Cole and Emma are together even though she says they are NOT DATING. I also think his 2 week deal with Emma was really stupid. I felt really bad for Evan because it’s painful to see some one you love with another person. I even wished that he hooked up with Nika, or any girl just to get back at Emma (I know, I sound so immature *sigh*). However, when he finally revealed what happened to him the past 2 years, I was actually RELIEVED that after Emma, he was with Analise. I was relieved because at least he wasn’t alone. He had someone who loved and cared for him even if he was at his lowest.

What else? Hmmm…I didn’t enjoy the epilogue. I also found the switching of POV’s a little confusing. Ugh, there’s so many things I didn’t like about this book. Let me type some things I liked instead:

Sara – I love her character. She’s a great friend. She kept on taking care of Emma even when she was in France. Emma is so lucky to have Sara as a best friend.

Emma and Evan took their time before getting back together – thank God! After so many pages of Emma and Cole having sex, I really didn’t want her to get intimate with Evan, at least not until Emma spill out her secrets and forgive herself. I liked that they tried to get to know each other again and started communicating about their feelings before committing in a relationship.

HEA – Even though I didn’t like Emma here most of the time, I still think that her story deserves a happy ending. I’m glad that Emma and Evan found healing, forgiveness, strength and happiness with each other.

I heard Ms. Donovan is writing a novel about Jonathan (the guy Emma left with at the end of Barely Breathing). I don’t like Jonathan, in fact I hated it every time Emma mentions or remembers him. So, I probably won’t read his book. What I want to read though is a book about Evan. His life two years ago, while he was with Analise… while he was in Yale. We always see Evan as this sweet, caring, understanding guy… I want to see the other side of him, his life without Emma, where he acted out, when he was angry, sad, and confused. This may not happen of course, but IF the author decided to write one, it will make me REALLY happy.

3 out of 4 books I’ve read this week didn’t meet my expectations, I hope the next one on my list is good.  *fingers crossed*

Book Review: Bully (Fall Away #1) by Penelope Douglas

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bully

3/5 Stars.

REVIEW CONTAIN SPOILERS.

Honestly, I’m not sure how to rate this book. I detest bullying. However, I have to admit that I did enjoy reading it. 

When I saw Bully, I was intrigued. The blurb was very interesting that I decided to read it. I was really looking forward for Tate to get back at Jared. I think every kid that was once bullied wants to get back to that person who made their life a living hell right? I loved it every time Tate fights back. She’s really strong and I liked how she chose not to let Jared and his friends change her into a bully. However, when Jared’s traumatic summer that changed him was revealed, I was a little disappointed how quickly they hooked up. I wish Tate made him squirm a little! I mean come on, the guy ruined her reputation at school and humiliated her whenever he can. How can you possibly forgive and forget that kind of cruelty that quickly?

we weren’t the only kids who grew up this way
to this day
kids are still being called names
the classics were
hey stupid
hey spaz
seems like each school has an arsenal of names
getting updated every year
and if a kid breaks in a school
and no one around chooses to hear
do they make a sound?
are they just the background noise
of a soundtrack stuck on repeat
when people say things like
kids can be cruel?
every school was a big top circus tent
and the pecking order went
from acrobats to lion tamers
from clowns to carnies
all of these were miles ahead of who we were
we were freaks
lobster claw boys and bearded ladies
oddities
juggling depression and loneliness playing solitaire spin the bottle
trying to kiss the wounded parts of ourselves and heal
but at night
while the others slept
we kept walking the tightrope
it was practice
and yeah
some of us fell

-Shane Koyczan, To This Day

I didn’t like Jared. I did feel sorry for him when the reason for his actions was revealed, but, I couldn’t get past the bullying. He tortured Tate for 3 effin’ years! There’s no way I can forget that easily. People react differently towards bullying. I keep wondering, what if Tate is one of those who gets depressed? What if Jared’s action brought her to commit suicide? And he says he loves Tate. I can’t accept that Jared’s cruelty is his way to show his affection for Tate. You don’t hurt the people you care about. Seriously Jared, you need to get your shit together. For a second there I thought Tatum is abnormal, because she was so willing to forgive Jared. However, she saw and loved Jared on his pre-bullying years. They have history, so, that made the quick forgiveness believable. 

I also didn’t like the adults in this book. Aside from Tate’s grandma, the rest were all absentee parents or in Jared’s mom’s case, neglectful. Thay also condone illegal drag racing, what the heck is wrong with their community?

Anyway, I still think Bully is a pretty good debut novel. I admire the author for using a sensitive topic for her first book. I heard there will be a book 2 written in Jared’s POV. I hope the next book will give us a more thorough and plausible explanation about Jared’s actions. I do want to give the guy a chance to redeem himself.

Book Review: MacRieve by Kresley Cole

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macrieve

3/5 Stars!

REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS!

Just like any other Immortals After the Dark fan, I’ve been counting the days for the release of this book. So when it came out two days go, I immediately read it and pull an all-nighter to finish the book. It was entertaining. I was able to keep my eyes open and finish the book until three in the morning. However, there are some things about the new IAD book that I find disappointing.

One.

The cover. I know, do not judge the book by its cover… blah blah blah, but if you’ve been reading the series for quite some time, covers are important! When the cover was revealed, I was a tad disappointed. Still, I love the Lykaes and I kept my fingers cross that the content will compensate for the not-so appealing cover. Unfortunately, it didn’t.

Two.

The characters. Like I said, I loved the Lykae heroes on the IAD series but Uilleam is probably an exception. Ugh, he was very stubborn and cruel. I can’t stomach what he did to Chloe, he’s such a jerk! Chloe’s character on the other hand, was very promising. I liked her in the beginning. She’s physically strong (she’s a professional soccer player), independent and doesn’t take shit from no one. However, when her true nature was revealed, she changed completely. From Ms. Athletic and Independent, she became Ms. Pathetic Succubus. Her situation was frustrating because other than dying her only choice is to stick with Uilleam. She couldn’t leave because everyone in the Lore wants a piece of her–being Webb’s daughter and all. Also, her Succubus nature made her dependent to Will: No sex, she dies; sex with an unwilling man, she dies. I’m not kidding! She’s probably the most helpless heroine in the entire IAD series.

Three.

The story. MacRieve is mediocre compared to other IAD books. It’s pretty straight forward and a little predictable. It revolved mainly on Chloe -Will romance, and Will’s traumatic past. I find the conflict resolution anticlimactic. The book left me dissatisfied and it felt like the book was just a filler or a novella despite it’s total word count. It’s definitely not your usual KC novel. Compared to it’s predecessor Lothaire, it lacks action, complex story line and shocking plot twists. I think MacRieve was not intended as a stand alone novel, you’ll definitely get lost if you haven’t read the earlier books in the series.

If there’s one thing I absolutely enjoyed in this book, it’s definitely Nix’ cameo. She’s one of my favorite character in the entire IAD series and I’m truly grateful that she appeared in the first few chapters in the book. She’s so funny! I love her SLUT shirt.

I still think that KC is one of the best paranormal romance author out there. I have no complaints about her writing, and I will continue reading her books— fillers or not. Honestly, MacRieve isn’t that bad, thus the 3-star rating. However, if you’ve read Lothaire before reding this, it’s hard not to be disappointed. Lothaire was a really good read! Hopefully, the next book will be better than this one.

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